The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
