Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
