i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
