While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
