I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
