I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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