Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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