Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I cannot find my penis.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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