He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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