Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
