Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
