That's when you crack a 10am beer
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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