The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
