I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
