i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
