There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
