she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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