Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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  (817): Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have. http://tfl.nu/2nqb
  Replies (23) Good night (767) Bad night (4696)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.

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  (704): i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes. http://tfl.nu/4acf
  Replies (54) Good night (3818) Bad night (2748)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.

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  (480): Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that. http://tfl.nu/wbxh
  Replies (13) Good night (4778) Bad night (1101)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it

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  (647): he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it http://tfl.nu/1z9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4516) Bad night (1756)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology

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  (313): i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology http://tfl.nu/1r1t
  Replies (10) Good night (4948) Bad night (925)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.

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  (575): Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship. http://tfl.nu/tvch
  Replies (8) Good night (951) Bad night (3346)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.

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  (941): I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked. http://tfl.nu/4e23
  Replies (9) Good night (1838) Bad night (964)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about

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  (505): Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about http://tfl.nu/ldbx
  Replies (5) Good night (1298) Bad night (710)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever

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  (306): I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever http://tfl.nu/lhkq
  Replies (22) Good night (1503) Bad night (764)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.

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  (505): Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you. http://tfl.nu/v68r
  Replies (9) Good night (1021) Bad night (534)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.

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  (705): I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/bmha
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (1136)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...

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  (407): Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school... http://tfl.nu/m7rc
  Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (476)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed

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  (704): it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed http://tfl.nu/73fn
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (543)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  ...you should fill the cart some more

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  (518): Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it? (1-518): ...you should fill the cart some more http://tfl.nu/ls8l
  Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (332)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  My dick has a subreddit

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  (630): My dick has a subreddit http://tfl.nu/u9zr
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (201)

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