I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??