Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

You're so nebulous sometimes

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(315): View more from New York

2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?

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(845): View more from New York

If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.

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(540): View more from Virginia

my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged

(703): View more from Virginia

just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(469): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka

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