Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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(858): I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association. http://tfl.nu/vbvm

Replies (15) Good night (4328) Bad night (471)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool

(252): View more from North Carolina

Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five

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(919): Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool (252): Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five http://tfl.nu/6bci

Replies (13) Good night (6283) Bad night (945)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.

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(774): I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books. http://tfl.nu/zd3b

Replies (14) Good night (3947) Bad night (808)
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(415): View more from California

MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?

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(415): MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone? http://tfl.nu/5bs9

Replies (14) Good night (740) Bad night (2986)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."

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(267): Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too." http://tfl.nu/ac9x

Replies (4) Good night (2626) Bad night (1003)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.

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(610): 90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you. http://tfl.nu/qiqv

Replies (6) Good night (2004) Bad night (572)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.

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(412): He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far. http://tfl.nu/xxyj

Replies (11) Good night (2425) Bad night (650)
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(616): View more from Michigan

EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.

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(616): EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA. http://tfl.nu/4vpy

Replies (9) Good night (1659) Bad night (533)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night

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(603): Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night http://tfl.nu/dak1

Replies (9) Good night (1708) Bad night (476)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"

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(609): pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!" http://tfl.nu/i0nq

Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (360)
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(409): View more from Texas

Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.

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(409): Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY. http://tfl.nu/n49p

Replies (11) Good night (355) Bad night (1450)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!

(1-910): View more from North Carolina

No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!

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(910): Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome! (1-910): No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?! http://tfl.nu/r3ev

Replies (16) Good night (1614) Bad night (854)
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(906): View more from Michigan

My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.

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(906): My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow. http://tfl.nu/cu71

Replies (3) Good night (535) Bad night (236)
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(971): View more from Oregon

Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account

(971): View more from Oregon

It could happen to you too!

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(971): Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account (971): It could happen to you too! http://tfl.nu/bwgy

Replies (11) Good night (1648) Bad night (263)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.

(479): View more from Arkansas

It was "against protocol"

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(479): I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me. (479): It was "against protocol" http://tfl.nu/5591

Replies (5) Good night (651) Bad night (224)

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