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your parents love me but you hate me
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
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