just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
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My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.