how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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