Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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