just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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