Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
