So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
