What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
