did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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