what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
