I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
