Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
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I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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