Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize