OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
this is an emotional support booty call
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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