Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
