I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
BRING THE BAGELS
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
