Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
