So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
