Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize