I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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