I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
