i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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