god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize