her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
