i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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