they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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