Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize