I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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