She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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