he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
