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It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
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