is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha