I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
