its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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