You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
