Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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