is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
