Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
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it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
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I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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