She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
